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Stinky Karting... And You Thought Our Delivery Was Fast Oct 19, 2012 09:07 by Matt Bird

Helmets: Check. Gloves: Check. Go karts? DRIIIIIIIVE! Four members of the Stinky team embarked on a mission Wednesday night. A mission to show that it’s not just our delivery that is faster than a speeding bullet, but also our employees. A mission to prove Team Stinky is not just a customer service sensation, but a racing revolution.

Pitting their racing mettle against foes from 10 teams across the land (or Birmingham), the Stinky team of Roy, Rob, Rich and Matt went off to battle.


Suits on, team chest bump done, we were ready for war. Rich went out valiantly for our opening drive and drove like a champion! A champion that went into the pits by accident on his first lap, instead of carrying on to post a laptime. Golden.

Matt followed and trundled around in an incident-free show of speed, passing on to Roy who narrowly avoided a Karting pileup! With the mantle passed onto Rob for our final qualifying laps, our best lap time put us on 3rd place of the grid for the ensuing 90 minute endurance race.

Let the challenge begin!


The Race:

Go Rich. Go Rich. Go Rich.

We zoomed, we turned, we overtook, we changed over with Formula 1 precision. Avoiding any major crashes (ish) we held our position, switching between 3rd and 6th depending on our driver changes. Some other teams only had three drivers so we were fighting the disadvantage of extra changes admirably.

Rob lead the Stinky team out on its first laps heroically, putting up with vicious overtaking maneouvers and hostile conditions to keep Stinky in the game.

A swift handover to Roy gave a solid set of laps, and the only member of the Stinky team without a driving license managed not to hurt anyone. All was looking good.

Matt came in and kept the laptimes steady, with Stinkyink slowly gaining time on the other teams around, but the closest team staying right on our back.

Then came Rich with a masterful set of laps! Our main competition, who were right behind us, threw out their fastest driver just after Rich started, a person with laptimes better than the whole of the Stinky team…. yet Rich was Gandalf. “YOU SHALL NOT PASS” echoed around the arena as he provided a master class of fast driving; catching the drivers in front without giving an inch to the driver hot on his heels.


The Halfway Mark…

We are doing well, battling around fifth or sixth place. We’re psyched, we’re going strong.

Rob returns to the hot seat and proceeds to blitz, nay – decimate! our previous flying lap times. Lap after lap he lowered our fastest time, propelling us to third with a ridiculous show of “it doesn’t look like he’s trying, yet he is going really fast”.

Roy takes over and carries on the frenetic pace until disaster strikes! Halfway into his shift he is crashed into by an opponent, taking them both out of the race and losing us two places. Undeterred, he gets back into racing mode and starts to claw back the deficit, masterfully leaving us on the neck of 4th place with Matt up next.




Swiftly overtaking 4th, Matt goes hot on the heels of 3rd and catches, then overtakes, a few laps later. A ‘major crash’ stops all drivers a few laps later, with 4th place breathing down our neck. Whilst sitting on the track waiting, Matt realises he can hear some crazy people on the balcony shouting “STAY OUT”.

Turning round he notes the crazy people are in fact his fellow Stinky’ites… We’d miscalculated! We didn’t have time for the final driver change and he’d have to stay out to cling to third.

And cling he did, with a collision between 4th and 5th in the final minute confirming Stinkyink a hard fought place on the podium.

Medals and a trophy to go in the Stinkyink cabinet… if we ever take them off that is. Next year we’ll go for champions, next year we will be unstoppable!!!!



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  1. Andy says:

    Go Team Stinky! Having seen Rich drive a normal car on the roads, I’m surprised he was so quick – he drives his Fiesta like an old lady!